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June 17, 2010

Night bar of Berlin

Berlin night bar
Tool: black ink

Berlin Walking, 2006

Those days I've been muttering that I would definitely not go out even a step after having devoted all passion and emotion to my great Athens. But at meantime as if were showing something lost and got low, I found myself already in Berlin. So I created some sorts of self-persuades like my Schengen VISA expires next week, a plain reason for a great city; and like probably the inner one, I wanna spend some lonely time only with myself, as I've given too much outwards to Parisian greatness those weekends and felt finally exhausted. So I was walking on a Berlin street, with a kind of witness-keen sense, because I knew in this city sheer nothing deal with, no one's life would mess even a tiny linkage with me a passerby. That was safe under skin and amusing. Berlin was great beyond words, but personally I especially adore the atmosphere gloomy, freezing, around a language unknown, and some tiny uncatchable scraps of heaviness, from the history. It was accidentally the memorial day for Germantroops on the day I arrived. Huge-sized German policemen in dark-green uniforms were everywhere. It was strange that I felt kind of nervous when facing them, as their blue eyes under pale skin staring; it came out the same feeling when I visited the Berlin wall, the famous wall. I could feel the scar, even as well as the pain, was something far beyond shape or weight, freezing silently under the peaceful Berlin air. I thought it probably was the time, swiftly past but left more solid, to us. Even I didn't know much about the history pieces after WW2, those pictures in museum really touched my mind. 'The world is too small for a wall', as painted on the wall fragment, and a photograph of people trying to escape the wire netting, a cold rose split in rocky-grey background. Suddenly I felt been penetrated by a sound of greatness of human being, who bear the heavy word, love. And in the last morning in Berlin, I went to the wall again for a last sight; I stood longtime in front of those trial photos and felt full-heart of complexity. I've recently read things about war background, the Jews, the Nazi, the massacres, the postwar trials, the suicides, the USSR, the troops and the whole-nation-mobilization..etc. although we were taught to love or to blame, this moment I gave up the judgment, I only saw individuals of souls hammered on the huge background. What we could own in front of a evil time? Only mercy and pity could likely fit our own uneasy hearts, that's why people put roses while weeping.
Three days in Berlin. There's hardly any way can grasp a moment of spiritual freedom but with myself.

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